I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
