Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
