some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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