Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
