I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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