Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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