Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
