did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
