so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
