yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
