You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dick very happy bro
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