Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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