There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
