I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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