I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
