I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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