so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
