I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
