I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
