Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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