So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
