does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
