I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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