Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
