don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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