ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
