Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You can't just leave with hair like that
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
