I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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