My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
