ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize