Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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