I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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