Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
