dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
