you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
