Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
