I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
