why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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