Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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