Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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