It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
