your parents love me but you hate me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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