ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize