I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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