Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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