what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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