oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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