btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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