They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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