it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
