Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
