You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
