Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
