let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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