I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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