Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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