What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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