I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh god the rape fog is back!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
